Is it okay for grandpa to be married and have a Girlfriend

This was the hardest thing for me. My 6 yr old gradson asked if it as okay for his Grandpa to have a wife and a Girlfriend. How do you answer that. I told him he needs to talk to his grandpa. Because according to the law and God it is not right.

Support system,and not so supportive

from COPD and Me by Grandmummy
I want to mention the support system I have.
Then there is my ex son-in-law and his fiance'.They are awesome. Not only do they let me see my grandchildren(My daughter does not let me see them)if I need medicine picked up they are right there to pick it up.There is also a good friend of mine. He has been through COPD with his mother. Who sadly has passed away. His wife passed away from Cancer. He has been through so much yet he is still willing to help others.Not many men would stay with his wife if she had COPD. I thought my husband was one who would stay. Boy was I wrong. The integrity I thought he had was never there. He kept looking for reason to start fights andI would not fight back. Besides how can you make up for stuff you did 25 yrs ago. I can't and I know he can't. He had nothing in the present to complain about. We were getting along better than ever. No the sex was not there. My husband told me that HE CRAVED SEX.That must be why he spent so much money on sex toys. He is 55 yrs old. If I have a question for him. I email; my husband. He is so nasty. I kept his emails and mine. The difference is amazing. Why he feels he has to call me Nasty names I will never understand. I am not saying I was a perfect wife for all 35 yrs I wasn't. We had a lot of good years. But the last two years were great until Oct 2008. I bet that is when he met her. He would go out for a long walk. I figured he was calling her. I asked to use his phone once because my cell was not working. I took it walked out of his office and he actually ran after me and stood there as I made my call. He would accuse me of reading his emails. I never did that. But he had something to hide he put a lock on his office door,so I could not go in. I just wish he showed me some respect. I think after 35 yrs I deserve that much. They say the person who cheats treats the person they are cheating on rotten, because they have to have a reason for cheating or leaving.
I wonder about his Mistress also. How could a 35 yr old woman,live with a married man,22 yrs her junior,who has a wife who is chronicaly ill. I know when they first got together she was laid off from the company they worked for(my husband still works there)I wonder if she move in 2 months from Minn, To California so she would have a man to support her, Sorry all you guys over 50 but that is usually why some one 20 something yrs stays with you. One of these days he might get ill like I am or might be oo old and she will go looking for someone better and with more money. I think that is wht he is so mean to me. Ican't work,I need money to live on for medicine,Oxygen . So we can get divorce. I need to be on his insurance. My 6 yr old grandson thinks it's okay to have a girlfriend and still be married. I told him no but he needs to talk to grandpa about it

MY GRANDCHILDREN

I know I sound like I was not a nice person. I wasn't for yrs. But I am not now. Medication has helped me so much. I am a different person. I have to say that I am the BEST grandmummy there is. I love my grandchildren more than anything in this world. I would give my life for them. They love me. They are always hugging me,telling me their secrets,telling me what happen during school. They trust me. I would never violate their trust. I hope I can live long enough so they are at least 11 or 12 yrs old. I remember how my dad's death affected my daughter. She was never really happy after that. Her POP was everything to her. He spoiled her rotten.
I can be so tired or so depressed about my breathing. My grand kids come in and it's like the sun is shining on me. I hope they do not forget me when I am gone. I feel I am making memories with them that they will never forget.

MY REGRETS

I need to clear up some things about my daughter. I am the reason she will not let me see my grandchildren. It goes way back. She and I had a hard relationship. It started when she was fourteen. Instead of being her mother I became her friend. She did not have many friends. We butted heads all the time. I have a huge fault I am very honest. I will tell her the truth no matter how much it hurt. I realize a mother should not have done that. This last incident was all my fault. I said things to her new husband that I should not have. Everyone thought the same thing I did,only they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut. I learned my lesson. From now on I keep my opinions to myself. The biggest regret I have is not being a good mother. Not showing my daughter how to spread her wings and fly. But, I was never taught that. So I had no idea how to teach her. I love my daughter with all my heart. I wish her and her husband nothing but happiness.

COPD and ME

COPD NOT FUNMy name is Karen. I am a 57 yr old woman. Who will be married for 35 yrs in Sept,I have one child,a daughter who is turning 33 yrs old (in Dec. The best thing in my life are my two Grandchildren.a boy 6 and a girl 5. They are the smart.beautiful,polite,and the best well behave children you will ever meet. I have COPD. Yes I was a smoker. I started when I was a teenager and stopped almost 8 yrs ago. I stopped because I was told I had severe COPD. No doctor had ever told me that before. I didn't know about COPD. I never heard of it. I came home from my doctors apt. and looked it up on the Internet.I was blown away. I found out it was incurable,and as time went by my lungs will work less and less. Basically I am slowly suffocating. Have you ever ran a long race,or exercised till you could not breathe. Remember how it hurt to try to breath and the panic that started to set in. Well, I get that feeling when I shower,even though I am sitting,When I clean the bathrooms, the house. It takes all week to clean the house because I can only clean one room a day. Then I have to rest. The above is while I am on 4 liters of Oxygen 24 hrs a day.The worst thing is to change my sheets or vacuum. Both are an all day job. This disease is not in the public eye because,it is mostly caused by cigarettes. Most of the general public thinks it's our fault we smoked. You die you deserved it. No one deserves this. It's just like Aids no one deserves to die like that. Dying is a scary thing for most people. Dying without dignity is scarier. Asking your spouse to wash your back because you can't,asking them to help you push a grocery cart because you can't do it and breathe. Seeing the disgusted look on their face as they take the cart from you.The hardest thing is to be up and pretend to feel good and be happy. You do that for the people in your life. I went to UCSF to see if I qualified for a lung transplant. After a yr of testing,They still did not know if I could qualify because I also have a blood disorder. They said I need to figure out if I wanted quality of life or Quantity of life. Transplanted lungs of smokers only last 2 to 3 yrs and then they start scarring. It they told me this when we first went. I would have NOT gone through a yr of agonizing tests My life is hard to live. I live for my 2 beautiful Grandchildren who I see 2 sat's a month,and sometimes they spend the night. I can't run with them. But, We do a lot of things together. We color,We read,we play computer games.We watch movies,we make Christmas gifts,We talk about their lives and what they want to be when they grow up. Basically, I give them all my attention. I only hope that I am making some lasting memories for them. I know they will forget me. I am praying that won't be for a long time. I don't want them sad. I want them to remember the good times we had together. Just the 3 of us. COPD is not only devastating to the person who has the disease. It is devastating to their family also. Once you were a couple. That changes. The healthy person becomes your caregiver. You lean on them for things you never did before,Like taking a shower or making a bed. It's very hard to be a Burden on the person/people you love.It makes you feel that you have nothing to give,only take. You feel like they would be better off if you were dead. My husband told he would be better off if I was dead. He only said it once but I will never forget it. I know in my heart he will be. I am selfish. I don't want to say good by to my grand babies yet. That is just too hard for me to do now. I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself.I will admit that I cry when I am by myself. But, I force myself to try to be active. No matter how much I hurt,I do things becauseexercising best thing COPD. I want to live a few more years because of my grand kids. I should have said this in the beginning I also have very bad asthma,and I am on 4liters of Oxygen 24 hours a day. Lately when I do anything like walk around the house.First let me say our house is small. We had sold our other home. Which my husband loved. It had two car garage,large rooms, three bathrooms and it was a two story. I could not walk up the stairs or keep it clean. My husband hates the house we are in now,but he made the sacrifice because of my health. I hate that he had to do that. I don't think he will ever forgive me for it. He would tell me how much he hated this house about every month when we first move in it. I felt so bad. We move because of my health.My 02 levels are not as good as they should be. I see them gone down ever day. If I walk around I am in the high70if I sit and don't move I am in the high 80's which is not great but it's better than As of 3 weeks ago that has changed. Now, if I do something like cleaning the house,getting the mail, or showering. My oxygen level is in the low 60s. The other day I rolled over my oxygen cord with my wheel chair and the chair cut it,in 3 places. It took me about 5 minutes to get a new cord hooked up. I could not breathe. I thought I was going die. When I finally got the Oxygen hooked up. My 02 stats were 61 I was all alone. That was one of the scariest time of my life. �My marriage is over. We can't get divorced because I need health care. My husband� does not want to be married to me because I try to manipulated everything. I have to have my way. I was like that for a long time. But, I have changed since last Nov. when I got on a different anti depressant.�I thought we were happy after my medicine change. But he kept screaming and yelling at me. Bringing things that happen 25/30 yrs ago. I can't depend on him to help me. He says yes but I have to ask at least 3 more time two to get it done. Or I do it myself. Like putting the mail in the mailbox. Vacuuming,or cleaning the kitchen floor. Also my daughter has disowned me. Right about now you must be thinking I am a horrible person. As far as my daughter is concerned that was my fault. I said things to her her new husband I should not have said. The fact is he is an�very nice.hat was in Oct. I think it has been two yrs now since I have spoken to my daughter. I have written her twice once an email apologizing to her and husband and by mail Congratulating her on being pregnant. I hope no one ever knows what it feels like to know you will have a grandchild you will never see. People(including spouses)�don't understand the , the frustration of being so short of breath you can barely make it to the bathroom and back, or how difficult it may be to towel-off after a bath, or how it feels to be dependent upon a little plastic tube you must wear in your nose and drag behind you everywhere you go. And they can’t imagine how tears come to your eye when you remember the way you used to get your work done in an orderly fashion and reasonable time, or the last time you were able to run with your Grandchild or alone for that matter.To carry grandchildren in your arms. Do they understand that you can’t breathe when you lie down, so spend your nights in a sitting up sometimes. What it’s like to now need from others with things you use to do yourself. Luckily, most people have been spared the feeling that comes with the closing-off of your throat that makes you clutch your breast and gasp for breath and fumble for an inhaler, and the mounting fear that compounds the problem, as you anticipate it getting worse... My marriage is completely over now. My husband wants to be able to start a new life. He hates me for things from 15 to 25 yrs ago. And he does not think I have changed. I have in the past six months. It might be a slow change but I have changed. I pointed out three things to my husband when he said I have not changed.He never said anything about the 3 changes. I thought of one more. I did not read an email he sent me,I stopped 2/4 through it. It was only making me feel bad. I couldn't do anything about what he said so. I did not finish it I deleted it. I told my or ex I should say that is was a mean email. He apologize for the last two lines Well I had the email in delete. I read it and cried my eyes out. His life would be perfect if I did. He did not think I would live this long. He told me that his living with a woman has nothing to do with me. remember we are still married. I want to bring this out. (I was told my marriage was over that my husband was moving out,and that he had met a woman who was coming cross country to live with him ALL IN TWO EMAILS.) He did not even have the decency to tell me to my face.I think it has everything to do with me. He also says that his mistress will not take my place with our grandchildren. I told him I have no worries about that. Those kids love me as much as I love them. I was right. One of little ones doesn't like the new woman. I got that from my husband.
draft
7/4/09
by Grandmummy

COPD #2

COPD #2
It has been 6 months since my husband has moved out. To be honest I do not miss him. He was actually cruel to me in emails and by yelling nasty stuff to me before he moved out. I think he was upset because I did not argue back. I asked him what is wrong. As I said before he kept bringing up the things I did 25/30 yrs ago. I cannot fix those things.I think he treated me like that because he was so guilty. I use to think that my husband had more integrity than anyone I know. Now I know that is not true. He also told me he does not lie. I believed him until 7 months ago. I do see my husband twice a month. The two Sat's my grandchildren are here. I try to be as polite as I can be to him. I don't want the grand kids seeing us argue over stupid things like my grocery list was not by isle. Yes I have to write it isle by isle. My husband does the shopping because sometimes I am too tire to go. Also he does not like to take all of us(grandkids and me). I think he feels it takes too much of his time. My husband will also take me to my doctor's appt. I try to get them all on one day. The best I can do is 3. The other apt I make for 2 weeks later, I do give him ten dollars in gas to take me to the doctors. I can honestly say he is as generous as he can be with monthly support to me.He can sit in his truck and read a book. I don't want him in the room with me because my health is none of his business anymore. Besides he said once the quicker I die the happier he will be.The easier it will be for him to live his NEW(he did not say NEW,I did)life.I PLAN ON SHOWING HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!! Health wise I am not doing to bad. My asthma and allergies were terrible this pass week. But I was able to turn my 02 down from 4 to 3 liters. I really don't feel any different. I can still clean my house. As I said it takes me about 4 days.I am thinking when the market picks up a little I hope my husband will agree to sell this house,split the profits. I will get an apartment across the street. Still close to the grand kids. I want to sell it before it falls apart. My husband said he will do the back and front yard that has to be done soon. He does not stay on top of it like he use too.I can't keep the inside as clean as I want it to be. I just don't have enough lung function. I cannot afford a housekeeper.I also want to clear up what I said about my daughter.That was not the only reason she disowned me. Her and I bumped heads a lot as she was growing up. I wasn't a very good mother. I did not teach her to spread her wings and fly. I regret that. Like I said the only regrets I have involve my daughter. I have tried and tried to get her to forgive me. She will not. She is a lot like her father, unemotional,cold,and unfeeling. The funny thing is. Her father yelled and scream and called my daughter all types of names when she left her husband. My husband could not stand the fact she was still married and living with a man. But he only called her names to me,only said nasty things about her to me. He knew I would never tell her that her father felt that way about it. That was up to him. But even when she was little he did not want any father responsibility's. It all feel on me. He did not want to be the bad guy.I on the other am Italian. Need I say more..................I think Not